Two Blokes on the Terraces

Manchester United v Arsenal

‘Just A Bloke’ (Jab) and ‘Just Is Mate’ (Jim)
(the game is in full flow)
Jim : “Ah! Magic Hour! Well!.3 clock to 20 to 5 anyway. Don’t You Love It?!!”
Jab : “Yeah! But.. I HATE those daft, pretentious Gold Boots Ronaldo is wearing!”
Jim : “Do Ya?! – At least you can see ’em. LOOK AT THAT! – GO ON MY SON!”
He’s got Magic in his Boots this year mate ‘in ‘ee?!”
Jab : “He’s a Ponce! Look at ‘is hair! Look at ‘is Bloody Gold Boots! Tricky Little!..”
GREAT PLAYER! But – Would you have him for dinner?!”
Jim : “DINNER?! – What Are You On About?!…..BLOODY HELL!! !His Boots’ve
Got MAGIC IN ‘EM!! He’s the Best Trickster in The World at the moment!”
Jab : “I Dunno about that – But – Why Would ee wear boots like that if he weren’t a little!!”
Jim : “LISTEN MAN!! – I’ve Just bought a pair !..WICKED!!.I LUV ‘EM! You ‘avent even played
In years, ‘ave yer?!”
Jab : “WIFE WONT LET ME!…We have to go to Sodden Sainsburys Sundays! I Wish!”
Jim : “YouWish! You wish you had half ‘is skill mate! He’s BRILLIANT! !..LOOK AT THAT!!
BRILLIANT!!!”
Jab : “Yeah!.. I’m gonna flipping well start playin’ again!
SOD SAINSBURYS!….SOD THE WIFE!….SOD THE KIDS!…..
I’M buying a New Pair of Boots!
I LOVE FOOTBALL!!!

Chris Martin 2007

If you would like to contribute a guest article send it to: [email protected]