Andy KayMore celebrated than the Johnstone’s Paint trophy, Andy Kay takes aim with another Oh Kay broadside.

Attacking Keegan

A lot has been written about Kevin Keegan since he returned to take up the reins at Newcastle United. Not very much of it has been positive and we’ve even had a couple of digs at the guy on Footy Boots. But you have to admire his spirit by naming a side to play Spurs at the weekend which included Mark Viduka, Michael Owen and Obefami Martins. After securing the first win of his new tenure against Fulham 8 days earlier, you might have expected him to play safe at WHL. Not a bit of it. Keegan just doesn’t do dull. Instead, he sends out a team with more attacking intent than a charging bull elephant and watches them battle back from a goal behind to score 4 times in the Premier League for the first time in about 2 years. He may not be the greatest tactician in the game but when things go right, he doesn’t half know how to entertain.

Downward Derby

You have to congratulate the marketing bods at Pride Park. Derby County may have become the first team in the history of the Premier League to have been relegated in March, but click on to the club’s website and you’ll find your chance to buy 2008 / 09 season tickets under the banner ‘The Journey Starts Now’. It certainly does – to the likes of Preston, Sheffield and Cardiff.

Beckham cooked

After winning his 100th cap against France last week, David Beckham jetted back to the USA to turn out for LA Galaxy against the Colorado Rapids in the MLS. Beckham’s team were hammered 4 – nil with the architect of their demise, a former Manchester United player called Terry Cooke. Remember him? No, thought not. Cooke came through the Old Trafford academy but only played 8 games for the club before embarking on a career with Sunderland, Birmingham City, Wrexham, Manchester City, Wigan Athletic, Sheffield Wednesday, Grimsby Town and Wednesday again before signing for Colorado in 2005. Good to know that Becks is still testing himself against the best.

Washing up offside

A near disaster in the Kay household was averted at the weekend when, after a dinner party, my wife suggested that I should wash up as I was “standing near the sink.” Indeed I was, but as I explained in relation to the washing up offside law, this meant diddly squat. True, I was adjacent to the dirty plates and the scrubbing brush but as I was drinking a large vodka, this in fact meant that my position was ‘passive’ and could in no way be construed with ‘interfering with the crockery’. Instead, as she had approached the kitchen from a northerly direction, was the last person to use the Fairy Liquid and had rested the rubber gloves over the cold rather than the hot tap I argued that it was she who was liable for all washing up duties for the foreseeable future. A full explanation of the washing up offside law is available from this column, just address your letters to Oh Kay, c/o Mr S. Blatter, Fifa, Zurich.

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