Punk’d Rio

Many of you will remember that some years ago, Rio Ferdinand made a TV series. In a nutshell, this short collection of films involved the Manchester United defender playing tricks on his England colleagues, causing them huge embarrassment in front of a world wide audience. Bearing in mind his performances against Holland and latterly Ukraine, I’m wondering if Ferdinand has started filming a new series. I think we should be told.

Fergie Q and A

Question: Why did Sir Alex Ferguson feel the need to criticise referee Alan Wiley?

Answer: To deflect attention away from a shoddy United performance against Sunderland.

Question: Did it work?

Answer: Oh yes, hardly any newspapers wrote about the game after his post match rant.

Question: Do you think he’s honestly concerned about the fitness of officials?

Answer: No, nor do I.

Question: Why has Fergie now apologised, a week or so after making his allegations?

Answer: To try and offset any punishment he’s going to get.

Question: Should that make any difference?

Answer: None, the FA should come down on him like a ton of bricks and ban him from the touchline for 3 games at least.

Laptop England

As one of my mates put it on Saturday: “Andy, if I’m going to sit down in from of my computer for a couple of hours having paid £11.99 for the privilege, I’ll be watching a different type of entertainment as opposed to live football.” Slightly worrying I grant you but I know what he means.

Watching your national team play in a foreign land is not supposed to be a lonely experience. It’s to be shared with friends and family in a pub, club or at home. The internet is a fantastic tool (how else would you get to view Footy Boots?) but I can’t agree that it’s the future for live football. Surely the time has come for Fifa to step in and protect the viewing rights of the away team’s fans. International matches should be free to air. End of story.

Germany again

They always do it don’t they? Germany went to Russia for a crunch game this weekend, went down to 10 men but still came away with a 1 – 0 win which guarantees their participation in the World Cup finals next year. Indeed, the German’s haven’t missed a finals since 1950, reaching 11 semi’s in the process.

They maybe be England’s nemesis (please, please let’s not play them again and it come down to penalties) but a World Cup finals without Germany would be like Craig Bellamy without attitude, Fergie without a grudge or Gerrard without his Pred’s. Just unthinkable.

Exaggeration not simulation

Should Arsenal’s Robin van Persie be castigated for admitting that he frequently  exaggerates the impact of fouls at the hands of defenders? Probably not in my opinion. That is at least, not until Fifa changes the law or instructs their officials to make a clear distinction between the words ‘contact’ and ‘foul’.

As has been argued in this column before, all too often we see players going to ground and being rewarded for it after claiming contact. In many cases, these situations have been induced by the so-called wronged player who seems more than happy to leave a trailing leg behind as a target for a hapless defender of goalkeeper. So, if you are fouled, go ahead, make the most of it and hope that the referee sees it. If however, you happen to brush up against the ear-lobe of a member of the opposition, could I suggest you try and stay on your feet rather than going in search for the award of best actor in a non-supported position?

Injured my a**e

Would it be too much to ask for the game to put an end to the dreadfully annoying habit of players kicking the ball in to touch so a member of the opposition can get treatment? It should the job of the referee to stop the game, not a player who’s getting the bird from the crowd because one their favourites is on the turf after bashing his little toe against a surprisingly long tuft of grass. Perhaps football should learn from the England cricket captain Andrew Strauss.

Having seen the England man call back to the crease a Sri Lankan batsman on Friday, the South African skipper Graeme Smith, struggling with cramp, thought he’d have no problems when asking Strauss for a runner in the ICC Champions Trophy game on Sunday. Strauss refused quoting a line about preparation and conditioning. That’s cricket speak for ‘get fit lardy boy, get fit’. Brilliant.

Not so Keano

Any non Manchester United fans upset to see ex Old Trafford favourite Roy Keane struggling in the Championship with Ipswich? Probably not that many I would have thought. From the day Keane walked on to a pitch with the sole desire to injure another player, I’m afraid to say I have wanted him to have to pay for it (and yes, I know he was fined at the time but I’m not talking about money).

His amazing performances for United, tenacious captaincy and never say die attitude notwithstanding, I just can’t seem to get the memory of that day in 2001 out of my head (nor I would venture can Alf-Inge Haland). As Keane said at the time: ‘what goes round comes round’. Too true Roy, too true.

Samuel who?

A quick note to all the doom mongers who raged against Barcelona’s decision to ditch Samuel Eto’o in favour of Swedish international Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

He may have a name that’s worth 956 points in scrabble plus a hooter that comes second only to Concorde but this weekend Ibrahimovic became the first player in Barca’s history to score in each of his first 5 games. That Pep Guardiola may only be a young pup, but boy has he got an eye for a deal.

Time to improve

If you ever wanted an example of how difficult it is to break in to the highest echelon of English football, there was a prime example for all to see on Sunday at Old Trafford. Manchester United finally secured all 3 points against a very impressive and resilient Manchester City side with a goal in the 6th minute of injury time. This despite the fact that the fourth official had originally indicated just 4 minutes of additional time.

The referee explained that he added yet more time to take in to account Manchester City’s 3rd goal celebration. This in itself should only have been about 45 seconds, rather than the near 2 minutes that he played. And, if he added on the time for City’s goal celebration, how come the final whistle went a mere 16 seconds after Michael Owen’s winner as United’s players sure spent longer than that dancing about the pitch in jubilation? Even worse was the sight of SAF then laughing and joking with the fourth official right in front of a clearly unhappy Mark Hughes. As was brilliantly put on one of the football message boards yesterday, there’s ‘normal time’, ‘added time’ and ‘Big Four time’.

It’s all about giving

According to weekend newspaper reports, even before the recent game at Eastlands, Arsenal’s players were a bit miffed with Emmanuel Adebayor when he turned up for the final game of last season with a black bin bag and hoovered up all the football boots and kit of his team mates. His spokesman explained that this was a regular occurrence as Adebayor often sends old and discarded products to deserving causes in Togo. So, it was a bit surprising to see him giving back some brand new footwear to Robin van Persie’s face. He obviously just can help being that generous.

Real in the red

Following the purchases of Kaka, Benzema, Ronaldo et all, Real Madrid have revealed that they are now £296 million in debt. Added to that, they have announced a budget for the coming season of £381 million. It’s just as bad at Barcelona who have announced record debt levels of £361 million.

At last year’s Real Madrid general assembly, the club had outlined similar plans for a £70m reduction in debt. Well clearly that hasn’t happened. So, with Uefa plans in place to ban clubs living beyond their means from European competition from 2012 / 13 and with the world still in economic flux, here’s betting that neither Spanish giants will meet the new qualification standards in two and half years time. Here’s also betting that Uefa will bend their own rules to let them in.

Goodbye to the v1.08

If you are a fan of the PUMA v1.08 football boot, then make sure you follow your favourite big name players in the Carling Cup in midweek as it’s possibly the last time they’ll wear the boot in action. The v1.08 is will be superseded by the v1.10 which launches later this week.

Following the tremendous success enjoyed by the likes of v1.08 wearers Anelka and Eto’o last season, I do hope that PUMA’s designers have got the new boot right. It is radically different and by adding a lace cover, PUMA are taking a massive risk that their branded players will take to the new technology. It does smack a bit of ‘if it ain’t broke, let’s fix it anyway’!

First contact

Uefa are correct to overturn the ban on Arsenal striker Eduardo. As was argued in this column recently, how can it be right to punish one player for what many others do week in week out. However, the reason for this change of heart is wholly unacceptable. Arsenal say their appeal was successful after they proved to Uefa that there was contact between their player and the Celtic goalkeeper. So what? Don’t the rules of football say that penalties and free kicks should only be awarded only if a foul has been committed? The amount of contact between Eduardo and Boruc wouldn’t have brought down an inebriated daddy-long-legs let alone an international footballer.

The word ‘contact’ has long been used, particularly by sycophantic TV companies, to excuse players crumpling to the floor after the slightest nudge. Additionally, it allows attackers to invite contact, particularly when attempting to round a goalkeeper…..something they could easily avoid if they so wished. So, let’s banish this awful word from the game once and for all.

X-rated Emmanuel

Once you look at the film of Emmanuel Adebayor planting his adidas F50i in to the kisser of Robin van Persie, you’ll understand why the FA has charged him with violent conduct. It doesn’t look good. Strange then that his manager Mark Hughes is trying to defend him. Hughes insists that there was no malice in the challenge (highly questionable) and that the Togo international had suffered a tremendous amount of personal abuse from visiting fans during the game (irrelevant).

Surely Hughes has seen the footage like the rest of us. While understanding the reasons why managers sometimes stick up for their players, on this occasion, Hughes should grasp the nettle, admit Adebayor was in the wrong and publicly admonish him.

In the red

Uefa president Michel Platini has got his way over plans to stop club’s spending above their means. While he says it will help clubs who are involved in Uefa competitions, it smacks of trying to break the dominance of English teams in the Champions League. Starting from 2012 / 13, clubs could be banned if they spend more than they make from their revenues.

So, it’ll be interesting to see what Mr Platini makes of the accounts of one his favoured clubs Real Madrid. Conservative estimates suggest that as of now, they are £500 million in debt. Let’s ban them now shall we?

TV no-show

England have qualified for the World Cup finals with two games to spare after winning eight from eight under Fabio Capello. You’d imagine that the interest and support for the national team would be at an all time high. But according to TV big-wigs, you’d be wrong.

As yet, no-one has picked up the rights for England’s next game, away to Ukraine on 10th October. As it stands, we’ll be forced to watch the match on the internet, probably having to pay a few quid for the pleasure. That can’t be right, can it?

Joke contracts

Whilst it’s completely understandable for clubs to get very hot under the collar after losing a player they have spotted and nurtured to a rival, I do find it extraordinary that they all seem to play the ‘contract’ card. Of course, if a youngster is under contract to a club, that club should be suitable rewarded if he’s wanted by another party.

However, contracts themselves have been largely worthless in football for years. How many times have we seen a club employ a new manager on a 3 year deal, only for the bloke to be shown the door after a few months, all be it with a bit of compo? Or the player who signs a 4 year deal and is then shipped off to another side when a younger, more impressive individual comes along? Just as Chelsea have been found guilty of wrongdoing, so all of football is just as guilty for making the contract nothing more than an administrative tool.

Bilic on Eduardo

Slaven Bilic has been talking a good game ahead of Croatia’s World Cup qualifier against England at Wembley and has also gone out of his way to offer his backing to under-fire striker Eduardo. Bilic said: “He knows that he is 100 per cent honest. He knows that he did nothing wrong.”

Sorry Slaven, but that’s just pish. Eduardo dived for Arsenal versus Celtic. You know it, he knows it and we know it. Whilst there are many, myself included, who think that Eduardo’s punishment is far too excessive, what Bilic should have said is “What Eduardo did, every other player in the professional game has also done many times over.” At least he’d have a few more people on his side that way.

England expects

It’s hard to believe that 22 months ago, England fans watched dumbfounded as Steve McLaren stood under his brolly as England failed to qualify for the European Championships. Tonight, they have a chance to reach the World Cup finals with a bit to spare.

You have to say that Capello has done a masterful job but…..it’s just so un-English isn’t it? We’re used to final game heroics, bloodied last ditch performances by the likes of Butcher and Ince and even other teams needing to do us a favour. This qualifying with ease lark….I’m not sure I’ll be able to get used to it.

Becks not counting on County

Most pointless headline of the week has to be: “Beckham rules out Notts County move.” Due respect to Sven’s new men but as if a current England player would consider a move to League Two. Which got me thinking about other headlines that should also be given short thrift. Stuff like:

Supermodel falls on catwalk. There was definitely contact with a stray piece of glitter says agent.

I have dived in an attempt to win, admits Tom Daley.

Warnock unhappy with (…………….). Insert name of referee, opposition player, opposition manager, Football League as appropriate.

Heskey replaced at half time. Obviously.

I have long argued that Uefa and Fifa should take retrospective action if a player gains an advantage for his side by way of simulation. Or cheating as it should be called.

But the two game ban on Eduardo for diving is just plain wrong. The Arsenal striker was found guilty of deceiving Manuel Enrique Mejuto González, the referee, by going to ground under a challenge from Celtic goalkeeper Artur Boruc in last week’s 3-1 win in the Champions league play-off round tie.

Despite Arsenal submitting a lengthy document defending him backed up with video evidence which they claim shows that there was contact between the two players, Uefa were obviously unimpressed, reaching their decision in a mere 53 minutes.

So, what are the ramifications here? Sadly, I think Europe’s governing body has made a rod for its own back.

Eduardo, Uefa’s public enemy number one

First off, Eduardo has been banned after Uefa found him guilty of ‘deceiving the referee’. This term was first introduced by Uefa in 2006. And how many players, Eduardo apart, do you think have been charged with this offence and found guilty since then? Answer: none. That’s right, in every game throughout Europe over the last 3 years, Uefa would have us believe that not a single player has tried to dupe the ref.

Arsenal will surely appeal and you’d think they would be able to put together a pretty good case. A trawl through the tapes of last weeks games in La Liga, Serie A or the EPL and they’ll surely find dozens of examples of players doing just what Eduardo did. Not diving necessarily, but trying to put one over the match officials. In other words, Arsenal will claim that they are being victimized.

Moreover, where do you draw the line? If a player appeals for a corner when he knows full well it’s a goal kick, isn’t this the same crime? Or perhaps when a player throws his hands up in all innocence when he knows he’s committed a foul? And, while we are on it, why hasn’t the entire Bristol City team been charged with the same offence after the Crystal Palace ‘ghost goal’ from a few weeks back. They all knew that Freddy Sears had scored but by not acknowledging the fact, they were guilty of deceit on the grandest scale of all.

Indeed, what is to stop any team from looking at films of future opponents, finding a clear case of deception and sending it off to Uefa with a request that the player or players be banned?

What’s even worse is Uefa and Fifa’s refusal to use retrospective video evidence to reprieve players who have been wrongly booked or red carded. How many more players will have to miss big games before the authorities sort that out? Just ask Laurent Blanc who was banned from the 1998 World Cup final after some play-acting from Slaven Bilic got the Frenchman sent off in the semi’s. Or Darren Fletcher who was forced to watch Manchester United’s Champions League final from the side lines after being wrongly dismissed in his semi final. The list goes on and on and Uefa will get themselves in an all mighty pickle if they insist on only looking at one side of the ‘retrospective video evidence’ argument.

Darren Fletcher trains before the CL final although he had no chance of playing

I should say that this isn’t a piece in support of Eduardo. He dived. He simulated. He cheated. Mind you, if the referee had picked that up, he’d only have received a booking. Now he’s got a 2 match ban. How can that be seen as fair?

What would be infinitely more shaming for the player is if Uefa forced Arsenal to show a TV replay of the incident on their giant screen every time Eduardo goes on to the pitch for the next 2 months. The opposing fans would lap it up and after a few weeks of that, you kind of get the impression that Eduardo would think twice before trying the same trick again. And a good job too.

Liverpool’s start

Statistics can tell you many things. In the Premier League for instance, it’s commonplace for the team that wins the title to lose 5 or 6 games during the season. This is what Liverpool are spouting after 2 defeats from their first 3 games. “Don’t panic” is the cry from Anfield. “We can still win the big prize.” Maybe.

Liverpool have two major problems though. First off, they just haven’t played that well. Against Spurs they were OK but against Villa, for all their possession, they were distinctly under par. Secondly, as the wise old sage Sir Alex Ferguson suggested recently, Liverpool  might struggle to equal the 86 points they recorded last season – a massive total for a team who didn’t lift the Premier League trophy.  For all their talk of challenging for the ultimate prize, Liverpool need to start performing on the pitch, and quick.

City additions

Joleon Lescott has completed his move to Manchester City for a fee reported to be in the region of £22 million. It takes the club’s recent spending spree to around £120 million. That being the case, wouldn’t it be easier for all of us if the media started reporting on who hasn’t signed for the club rather than who has?

For Sven and County

Still on the subject of money, I wonder how Sol Campbell will get on at Notts County? The former England defender has given up a possible swan song in the Premier League and signed for the ambitious and cash-rich League Two side. After such a fine career, no-one can begrudge Campbell a decent pay-day. But come on - £40,000 a week? Some of his new colleagues will be on closer to £500 - £750 a week.

Manager Ian McParland and Director of Football Sven-Goran Eriksson have got their work cut out to deliver on the pitch but as time goes on, it may well be in the dressing room that they will have produce their very best.

Not so Keane

Who would have thought that with Roy Keane in charge, Ipswich would be second from bottom of the Championship with just one point from four games? But perhaps even more surprising is the decision of Town’s 22 year old goalkeeper Shane Supple to walk away from the game.

In this day and age when most of us (I would suggest) believe that players are vastly overpaid and hugely underworked, it sort of restores your faith in humanity that a young man can make such a momentous decision rather than hanging on in there and taking his pay check every month.

Either way, I’d have loved to have seen the look on Keane’s face when Supple told him that “there’s more to life than football.” Perhaps he’s going to spend more time walking his dogs?

There’s been an enforced substitution this week at Footy Boots HQ.

Regular 5 star columnist Andy Kay is camping in Britain on a luxury cruise around the Caribbean, which has left a bunch of bumbling Boot Geeks in lab coats to pen today’s column.

Be gentle on them, bright lights, crowded places and raised voices effects their mental health!

Rodallega Sticks to Citron

Hugo Radallega celebrates in his Citron Vapors.

Earlier this week we reported that following his wonder strike against Aston Villa, Wigan’s Hugo Rodallega may stick with his dated Vapor IV Citron football boots.

Ribbed the day before the game by Mario Melchiot, Rodallega ditched his original choice of football boot, the Vapor Berry, for the Vapor IV Citron.

Wigan manager Roberto Martinez confirmed Hugo will be sticking with the Citron:

  The boys gave him a bit of stick and you have to be a confident character to wear that colour.

He has a lime pair and a pink pair. He wore the first set at Villa. The lads don’t want to see him play in any other colour now.

Virtual Boot Spotting

How do you find out what new football boots are on the horizon? You check out the screenshot releases of PES 2010 of course.

We spotted three new models/boots not yet released. Thanks to Mike V. for sending this in.

Charming Football Boots

Fashion designers often have a penchant for creating unusual items at exorbitant prices. Unfortunately football boots have been unable to stay under the radar of fashion designer interference, take these for example.

Kelme’s Swarovski crystal encrusted football boot and fashion designer Dirk Bikkembergs Bix.

We thought another specimen had been rolled off the catwalk this week when mention of a Louis Vuitton football boot was mentioned at Footy Boots HQ this week.

But fear not, Louis is not expecting Beckham to kit out in his latest creation, in fact it’s more likely to be Posh.

18 carat white gold and eighty six diamonds on Louis Vuitton’s football boot.

Louis Vuitton has designed a charm which can be worn as a pendant or attached to a charm bracelet. It’s very glitzy and expensive, at £10,000 it’s the ultimate WAG tag!

It rather puts OhKay! columnist Andy Kay’s England cygnet ring to shame….

We’ve had the hors d’oeuvres of pre-season, the Community Shield has been sorted for another year and now it’s only a matter of days before the English Premier League gets going for 2009 /2010.

So, what can we expect from the next 10 months?

Regular columnist Andy Kay has dusted off his crystal ball and has been looking in to the future. Here’s his month by month preview of what will happen between now and May.

The season is only a matter of days old when Sir Alex Ferguson complains that the fixture computer is biased against his team. Fergie’s comments follow a long, arduous midweek journey….to Burnley.

Manchester City buy Harrods as the new club shop.

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez says he won’t be so vocal this season and joins a silent order of Carthusian monks. Benitez emerges 25 minutes later saying the Abbot is plotting against him and that he’s got a dossier to prove it.

Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore announces plans for a ‘39th game’ to take place on the Moon. Critics say the plan will never work but supporters point out that as Scudamore is clearly from another planet, perhaps he might know best.

Manchester City trade in their 52 seater, luxury club coach for Air Force One.

QPR owner Flavio Briatore announces that he’s combining the football club with his Formula One business. Queens Park Rangers becomes Queens Park Racing, you now need a £750 Paddock Pass just to get in to Loftus Road and Martin Brundle is hired as the club’s new PA man.

The collapse of Setanta is keenly felt after the Scottish FA receives their first and only complaint that there’s been no Scottish football on the TV.

Manchester City buy the Queen as the club’s new mascot.

Disaster for Newcastle United. Playing in their now famous two-tone lemon away kit, the entire first team squad is mistaken for a mass order of Angel Delight and is returned to the shelves by Tesco security.

After leading Inter Milan to another title, Jose Mourinho announces that he’s no longer ‘The Special One’ and is, in fact, Peru.

What is it about Stevenage?

Interesting place Stevenage. For a relatively small town, it’s produced Formula One world champion Lewis Hamilton and now, perhaps the brightest young star in England football, Jack Wilshere. A month or so ago, Wilshere signed an extension to his contract at Arsenal and this week, he was named man of the match twice as the Gunners beat Athletico Madrid and Rangers to win the Emirates Cup.

There’s talk that Stuart Pearce is thinking of elevating him to the England under -21 squad. Sod that. Get him in the senior side under Capello. If he’s good enough, he’s old enough. And he looks good enough to me, just as a 13 year old Hamilton looked good enough to F1 boss Ron Dennis.

What is it about being 17?

It’s a good age at the moment. 1992 was obviously a top vintage. There’s Jack Wilshere, as mentioned above, while at Charlton, their wunderkind is Jonjo Shelvey. He’s been offered the chance to join Chelsea but in an incredibly mature decision, has turned the London glamour club down. Why? Because he was worried that he wouldn’t get enough first team football.

Whilst every player should be encouraged to back their own ability, Shelvey looks to have a very wise head on young shoulders. Appealing though the thought must have been to share a training pitch with the likes of Lampard, Terry and Drogba, Shelvey has decided to move when he thinks he’s up to it. And when he can demand a place in the starting line up. Smart lad.

What was it about Sir Bobby?

He was, simply, a great man. A gentleman, lover of the game, generous, thoughtful, a good player and a top coach. I can’t recall anyone having a bad word to say about him. He achieved so much in his 76 years but you got the impression that he still had more to give, certainly with regards to raising money for cancer research.

He may have got the odd name wrong over the years (he used to call Des Lynam ‘Les’ every now and again) but such was his stature within the game that it didn’t really matter. Cheers Sir Bobby. We’ll miss you.

What is about Scottish football?

Let’s hope that Celtic can do the business against Dynamo Moscow tonight in UEFA Champions League qualifying. If not, the picture looks pretty bleak for Scottish football even before the season proper has got underway.

Falkirk are already out of the Europa League, beaten by that well known football powerhouse FC Vaduz while Aberdeen and Motherwell shipped eight goals between them, scoring only one, in their third qualifying round, first leg matches against FK Sigma Olomouc and Steaua Bucharest.  As well as that, the game in Scotland has been through the Setanta TV debacle and the national side aren’t exactly tearing up World Cup qualifying. Scottish football fans are amongst the most loyal in the world. They deserve so much better.

Early kick off

Does it not seem bizarre that Celtic will play one of their biggest games of the year tonight, way in advance of the start of the season proper? Over 55,000 fans will flock to Parkhead this evening to see if Tony Mowbray’s side can overcome Dynamo Moscow in what could the first of four matches to qualify for the 32 team group stage of the Champions League.

Incredibly, this two-legged affair is sandwiched in between friendlies with the likes of Sunderland and Manchester City. How can it be that Europe’s so-called top sides, with a potential windfall of between £8 – 10 million per club riding on qualification,  have to turn out so ridiculously early in the season in monumentally important matches? If you ever needed persuading that the Champions League is too big and unwieldy, then surely this will do it for you?

Fergie’s warning

Talk about getting your retaliation in early. The Mind Games Master was at it again recently when he spoke about Real Madrid and their collection of superstars. Sir Alex said: “There’s a very good example of a team in the 1950s, Sunderland, who spent so much money it was known as the Bank of England club. They didn’t win anything and in the end they got themselves relegated.

“I’m not saying Real Madrid will get relegated, but it’s difficult and they will have plenty of problems with balance. I wouldn’t want to be Manuel Pellegrini [the coach] picking his first team with all those individuals. I told Ronaldo he will end up playing centre half because they don’t have one.”

He may be getting on in years, but he’s still got it – in spades!

Ref does a runner

If you thought the behavior of Didier Drogba and his Chelsea team mates towards referee Tom Henning Ovrebo was bad after the CL semi against Barca, then get on line and check out the shenanigans of Chinese team Tianjin.

Hugely upset after 3 of their players were shown red cards in a game versus Beijing, the remaining players on the Tianjin side chased the ref off the field, pushing him over in the process. Security guards got involved in the melee while in the stands; rival fans threw water bottles at each other.

One can only imagine the official Chinese news agency response: ‘Referee breaks national 100m record with help from players while rival fans keep each other cool in glorious, non American conditions’…..or something like that.

Enrique’s woes

Spanish defender Jose Enrique has apologized to Newcastle United’s fans after the Championship side were thumped 6 – 1 by Leyton Orient in a pre-season friendly.

Enrique said: “I’m sorry for them. We were all very bad. I’ve never played when everybody made so many mistakes.” Ah, the season is young Jose – you’ll get used to it.

Moving on

Geez, do I get cross with football fans moaning that it’s disloyal for players to move to other clubs. This is the argument currently being put forward by some Chelsea fans following Manchester City’s approaches for John Terry. JT, let’s remember, has served Chelsea with diligence and distinction for years now so why shouldn’t he consider a better offer from another employer?

Of course, football supporters are a tribal lot but let’s face it, if you, for example, are a plumber, bank worker, architect or mechanic and are offered 2 or 3 times your current wages and better perks to do the same job in a different geographical location are you really going to turn that down? Of course not.

Money well spent

You’ve just spent hundreds of millions of euros on the likes of Ronaldo, Benzema and others and, in an effort to bed them in slowly, you play a friendly against a team of Irish part-timers. Result. Rubbish. OK, Madrid weren’t playing at anywhere near full capacity but they were matched for 87 minutes by Shamrock Rovers on Monday night. Kaka was probably more than happy to be watching on TV as he recovers from his excursions at the Confederations Cup.

Ronaldo was shackled by 20 year old local lad Ian Bermingham and it took a goal 3 minutes from time by Benzema to snatch victory. Contrast that with Villarreal who beat Spanish minnows Navata 27 – 0. Perhaps they weren’t hamstrung by having to do a ton of pointless pre-match PR in front of the usual bunch of ‘if it’s Madrid it must be good’ hangers on?

The wrong move

There’s not too much honesty in the game these days so you’ve just got to love Alexander Hleb and David Beckham. Both have made moves of late to better their careers and have enjoyed contrasting fortunes. Beckham is back in the England team after his time with Milan while Hleb is little more than a bench warmer for Barcelona following his transfer from Arsenal.

But both have had the courage to front up recently – Beckham to a bunch of rowdy fans on his return to LA Galaxy and Hleb to the press, admitting that his move to Spain was a mistake and that he should have stayed at the Gunners.

Sven’s new men

So, Sven Goran Eriksson is back in the game, as Director of Football at Noots County. The club, if you didn’t know, play in League Two in England in front of crowds of around 5000. Nice to know that Sven has at last found his true level.

Are you Joe-king?

If newspaper reports are to be believed, Newcastle owner Mike Ashley looks set to snub Alan Shearer and re-appoint Joe Kinnear as the club’s manager. Despite several senior players going on record by saying that Shearer is the man they want, Ashley is certain to antagonise the Magpies faithful once again by bringing back Kinnear who, let’s face it, wasn’t overly popular the first time he got the job.

We can discuss the rights and wrongs of this all day but this would be to ignore the big question which is this. Why on earth didn’t Newcastle appoint a manager the day after they were relegated? Pre season planning has been left in the hands of Chris Hughton, there’s been no-one orchestrating transfer policy and the players have gone public saying the club is ‘dying a slow death.’

Ashley wants £100 million to sell the club. If so, why’s he running it like a 2 bob outfit?

Boot on other foot for Chelsea

Chelsea officials are said to be highly agitated by Manchester City’s relentless pursuit of the Blues captain John Terry. The London club have posted curt messages on their web site stating that Terry isn’t for sale while privately seething at City’s advances.

This of course, is the same Chelsea football club who felt it was perfectly acceptable to hold cosy tete a tete with Ashley Cole when he was still an Arsenal player. At least City are making a bee-line for the main entrance at Stamford Bridge through their approach rather than trying to get in via the back door.

Scottish TV

Something bothers me about Rangers and Celtic trying to buy the TV rights for live SPL matches. Being the top two draws, they’ll have to play each other virtually every week to make it work. What’s that? They play each other virtually every other week in the SPL already. Oh, that’s OK then.

Awards

Great news that the Footy Boots Football Boot Awards are back and soon to be upon us. If you haven’t looked at the info yet, make sure you catch up with all the awards news here.

And whilst I’m loving the new categories, perhaps I could suggest a few more plus potential winners that Footy Boots might take up in years to come.

Biggest football boot marketing howler – To Real Madrid for allowing Kaka to be accompanied in to the Bernabeu by a young lad wearing Nike trainers.

Best football boot sleight of hand – To Lotto for releasing 2 virtually identical boots every year for 3 years without anyone really noticing.

Best football boot name not yet in use – To anyone who comes up with a Newcastle United boot, the Toon Chaos.

Glen Johnson

There must have been a certain amount of satisfaction in the air when Glen Johnson put pen to paper to confirm his move from Portsmouth to Liverpool. Remember, this was the young defender who didn’t make much of an impression at Chelsea, was allegedly given regular tongue lashings by Jose Mourinho and then scurried off to Pompey as quick as he could.

But while at Fratton Park he re-discovered his game, was voted the South Coast club’s player of the year, became the England regular at right back and even had Chelsea looking to re-sign him. The move is great news for him and well deserved. Plus of course, his boot sponsor Lotto will doubtless be delighted to see one of their few English representatives plying his trade with one of the Big Four.

Man Utd 09 / 10 kit

Since we revealed the official ‘teaser’ images of the new Manchester United kit for next season, debate has raged long and hard about what it does or doesn’t look like. So, here’s my two-penneth worth.

The shirt will have the AIG logo on it because they remain the sponsor of the club. Their deal doesn’t expire until June of next year when Aon Corp will take over.

Whilst the images are brilliantly shot to hide much of the detail, you can make out a ‘V’ running across the front of the shirt.

It will definitely have an ‘Old School’ feel to it as it’s been specifically designed to reflect the club’s past glories.

Setanta (again)

So, Setanta has ceased trading in Great Britain and its Premier League games rights have been bought by ESPN, a channel owned by Disney. No doubt the 200 staff that have been made redundant (through no fault of their own) not to mention a number of governing body financial directors are currently going round muttering a phrase that rhymes with Donald Duck.

As it happens, I always felt that the figures put forward by the Irish broadcaster just didn’t add up and despite their strong start, it just shows you that there’s no substitute for a long-term business plan. In other words, it was all a bit Mickey Mouse.

Newcastle kit

Newcastle United have mirrored the success of Manchester United by getting many of us to talk about their new kit for next season. However, unlike the Premier League champions, it’s for all the wrong reasons.

The new away kit is made up of a two-tone yellow striped shirt and yellow shorts. It is, without doubt, excruciatingly awful.  Fair play to Steven Taylor who was brave enough to model the kit – shame he looked like a across between a Blackpool deckchair and a bowl of lemon Angel Delight or the result of a mutation between a Norwich and Grimsby fan. No wonder Michael Owen has decided to leave.

Competition time.

Just a few thoughts on the various tournaments that are on right now.

Italy looked great in their Puma King XL Italia kit in South Africa. Sadly they played not so much like kings but rather paupers.

England’s Under 21’s don’t look half bad.

Dropping Theo Walcott then seeing him come off the bench to set up a second goal against Spain. Genius from Stuart Pearce.

Congratulations to Spain for extending their record-breaking unbeaten run.

Despite millions of pounds of investment, Britain’s tennis players are more rubbish now then they’ve ever been.

Who wants to get a pair of the new Orange Blaze / Black Nike Total 90 Laser II’s after watching Fernando Torres play in them? Me please.

How good can Jack Rodwell become?

The women’s Twenty/20 competition was far more exciting than the men’s.

Desperately hoping for a British Lions comeback in the second test but fearing the worst.